Do I self identify as 'old'?

Getting old is peculiar. It's of no real interest to anyone except the old. Only some older writers - Muriel Spark, Jane Gardam - write specifically about old people. There is the odd good film e.g. the Great Beauty - with an ageing or old protagonist who is not a joke. Even in a society that is obsessed with the rights of the individual, age discrimination is of little interest compared with race or gender. I suppose this is partly because many older people don't actually 'self-identify' as old.  My husband says if he is in a room with a lot of people of our age, he thinks of himself as much younger than everyone else, like a teenager among grown ups. Although she makes slightly bitter jokey remarks about being 'ancient,' I don't think even my 90 year old mother thinks she is 'old.'

I have also noticed that even when people know that statistically they know they only have 10 years left, max, it doesn't really alter the way they think or plan for the future. They don't say 'no point in repainting the kitchen/buying a new fridge/planting the garden, as I'll be dead soon.' They carry on, just as they did at 70 or 50, or 30 - despite the evidence of rheumatic joints and failing eyes or ears. Age doesn't really change how we feel inside, the way we think about ourselves - not that much.

So in what way do I feel old? The truth is that I don't yet feel many physical limitations. If I train, I can still run for an hour and a half, as I did when I was half this age, though I have to admit I don't try the uphill routes I used to do. I say this is because there aren't any hills in West London, but perhaps I'm also a bit lazier, more cowardly, softer on myself. I've got an excuse now. 'I'm sixty!'

This to me is the most noticeable feature of getting older - using it as an excuse. It's often the way. For several years after I suffered a divorce -  about ten years ago - I saw everything that went wrong in my life - with my job, or my children - as a result of the divorce. It was only when someone pointed out to me that most teenagers are difficult, that I stopped seeing any difficulty with my children as evidence of the damage the divorce had done them. It's the same with age. You're tempted to blame every ache and pain, every failure, every obstacle, on age. But it hasn't stopped Mick Jagger, or Dolly Parton. In sport, entertainment, the arts - there are examples of people who don't use their dodgy knees as a reason not to get up and go.

This is the year when I promise myself not to say "I can't - I'm too old..'